Last night I had a dream that I was Captain America, which is strange because I'm Canadian, even stranger is the fact that I don't look good in blue tights. No sir, I would know, trust me. In this dream I was called upon to help the lizard men of the underground revolution brigade. They contacted me by email, you know. Now, let me tell you about Lizard men, they are a highly intelligent race of overgrown Lizard, possessing traits that are similar to that of a human, such as being able to walk upright and talk in mostly British Accents, only they look like lizards, most of them are green or brown, and, for the most part, they all look similar, they do however each have individual names such as us humans. Names like Gerband and Fergeang, say it out loud it really rolls off the tongue.
Anyway, as it seems the Underground Revolution Brigade has been fighting against the Southern forces, who are incidentally the ones in power. The URB does most of they're fighting in cities and subterranean towns, they were ill equipped but had many members easily over 10,000 strong, and growing everyday. The fight mostly started over the fact that people were sick of the way things were going, the economy of the lizard men is very important you know, it mostly relies on exports, such as hotdogs and salted crackers, yeah, Lizards make those, only you don't know it because you don't want to know it. The economy as of late has been slowing; creating massive lay offs and unhappy folks. All this put together creates some pretty upset lizards, and so a revolutionary army, the URB, was formed, and they needed Captain America's help.
When I arrived in the subterranean world of the lizard men I was greeted by Gerband who is the leader of the URB, I was whisked away to a small building where I was seated around a large round table, on the table were various charts, maps, scale drawings and such. We sat for a few hours and everything was explained to me with great detail. It was clear they needed my help, although I wasn't 100 percent sure how I would do so. I met several other important URB soldiers who showed me exactly what they used to do their fighting. They're armament consisted mainly of huge two-handed swords and large wooden shields, there were also lizard men who were archers, it was like the medieval days.
A huge, deciding battle was about to be fought in the city of Tuuil, it was time for the URB to put it all on the line, and they were ready to do just that, with my help. Now, being Captain America, I decided it was in the URB's best interests to let me plan the battle and command the troops. I did so by making several drawings of just how such an operation should be carried out, I also made several pointless charts detailing nothing at all, you know, having no idea what to do, I at least wanted to look important. So I designed them a cool new logo as well.
Every one of their uniforms had that proud logo displayed. It's cool, they said, because Captain America made it. I had done all I could for the lizard men of the URB. It was not my battle to fight, but I was damn sure going to watch. The URB took heavy casualties and, of course, was defeated by the well-trained Southern Force soldiers. Yeah, they died, but they sure did look cool doing it. Not as cool as me, however, cause I had a mask, they didn't. After words I went back to Gerband's place and we played yatzee and ate salted crackers. You can only eat salted crackers for so long before you need a beverage though, and when I asked Gerband for a drink he said he was all out. So I left. Then I woke up
Writen and owned by Dan Chubaty