I've changed. I used to feel that no matter how bad things got, I would always be glad that I'm alive. Now I'm looking for a way out. I'm not weak, I'm tiredso tired. This morning I decided to have a bath, with the toaster. It seemed to be my way out, what with the electrical hazards and all. It turns out; of course, the only thing that happened was that I got to eat soggy toast for breakfast. Not to worry however, my time is coming.

Sometimes I can still hear the kids laughing and playing together, of course, it's all in my imagination, and I've always been imaginative.

You see, when I thought it was my time to go, I decided the children should join me. Life without a father? that's the sick part. So I locked them in the deep freeze, both of them. Chilly? you bet, but they'll get over it. Now I sit hear alone, a changed man. Lucky for my wife, she left before things got too hectic and crazy. She's been phoning a lot lately. I only sit and stare at the ringing phone, a grin pasted on my face. She leaves messages on the answering machine. "How are the kids? where have you guys been?". We're dead. My boss also calls a lot asking why I haven't been to work in two weeks. I'm dead.

I'm still waiting for my time. My creativity has left me just as my will to live has left me. This puts me in a horrid situation, I'm stuck. I don't know how to go forward and finish the race, and I sure as hell can't go back. I don't own a gun, I never saw a need to, especially with the children around, they don't need to see that. Now of course, would be a good time to go out and buy one, since the kids are sitting amongst the frozen roast beef. Too much work, I say. I'm pathetically lazy; I've never denied that. After much thought, I've decided to join the children. I dressed up too, put on an old Halloween costume. Batman. I've always wanted to die like a super hero. Move over kids.

I'm so tired. You shouldn't be here any longer then you have to, it's not good. I'll go to bed, and never wake up. You'll see

Written and Owned by Dan Chubaty 2001